Miscarriage Survival Tips: That saved my life!
As you all know I’ve had 5 miscarriages, 2 being ectopic. In this post, I’m going to share with you my miscarriage survival tips that saved my life…literally!
Miscarriage is such a devastating process. It can take weeks to physically heal and years to emotionally heal. One thing about miscarriage is you never forget!
I remember each occurrence like it was yesterday. Although you don’t forget, you learn how to live through the pain.
Here are some things that I did to help me survive the miscarriage process.
This was a big one for me. I had to learn how to just cry. I had to learn how to let myself go there emotionally. I had just lost my child and I just tried hiding behind a smile. I tried to pretend as if it was just a fluke, better luck next time.
A wise woman once told me, “It’s okay to not be okay.”
After my first 3 miscarriages, I’d just say give me one day to grieve and I’ll be fine. In actuality, I needed more than just a day! It’s been 6 years since my first miscarriage and I still get teary eyed sometimes thinking “what if”.
I sometimes wonder what my son would have been like, what would he have looked like. I replay it over and over in my head. You have to cry.
You have to acknowledge your pain. Allow yourself to go there. Tears are prayers too.
Join a support group.
At first I was too embarrassed to join any groups. I’d just stalk them online and read everyone’s testimonials, journeys and cries for help. Then I joined a few online groups but never put my real name or profile picture because I was afraid someone I knew would see me there.
Don’t be embarrassed!
Join a group rather it be online or in person. I joined online groups through baby center.
These women know your struggle and understand your pain. They are there to help you, pray for you and give you hope. You’re going to need those words of encouragement, those success stories, someone to answer a question you have about something in particular.
Also, after I appeared on the Fox 4 segment: Love, Loss, Love, I made friends with 4 beautiful souls that I reached out to in my times of doubt and discouragement.
I attended a meeting with Hopeful Hearts Women’s Ministry where we all shared our stories and prayed together.
I’d highly recommend joining a group rather it be online or in person.
See a counselor.
Here’s another one that I was too embarrassed about. Yes, I do see a counselor. I started seeing a counselor after my 3rd miscarriage. By this time, I had cried all I could cry. I was so heart broken I didn’t know what else I could do.
I felt as though I had done everything right and still miscarried. I was taking vitamins, eating better, working out, went to see a Fertility doctor, took pregnancy test like clock work, I mean I was on top of it. Yet, I still miscarried?
I had gone completely nuts. I was snapping at everyone, I found myself being very envious, very cold-hearted and I didn’t want to be this way. She helped me unravel things in my life and get to the root of my behavior. I believe I became an overall better person after taking this big step. Seeing my counselor changed my life.
I can’t stress this enough, pray, pray, pray! Prayer gives you a sense of peace that you cast all of your worries on the Lord.
You MUST tap in to your deepest level of faith and believe that God will see you through. I would always pray for what I wanted and how I wanted it done.
Gratefully, God does not operate that way. I say gratefully because his plan is always so much better than mine in the end. My prayer now is that God gets the glory out of my situation. I never thought in a million years I’d be an infertile recurrent miscarrier. But God had a plan for my life.
I pray that God uses me in whatever way he sees fit. I pray that women will stand up and speak out about miscarriage and infertility. I pray that God blesses me with the opportunity to mother a child in whatever way he sees fit.
My good friend Rachel at Hopeful Hearts said it best “We are deserving of nothing”. In the last meeting I went to, she suggested that we talk to God and pray about why our hearts desired a child (or another child). I prayed and God revealed to me why I desire a child. That’s another post for another day.
But yes! I cried, I joined groups, I saw a counselor and I prayed! These are a few tips that I’d suggest to any woman going through miscarriage and infertility. The reason I say they saved my life is because, I don’t know where I’d be if I had not done those things. Miscarriage is heart breaking, discouraging, and can cause so much emotional damage.
I am still learning, growing and coping every day. I pray that you find peace and understanding through your journey.
What are some tips that helped you survive miscarriage?